So I’ve been pestered by a few friends, and some strangers (Hi Books Inc!) to post my paper wallets. See, I make these wallets, out of paper, then use them till they almost fall apart, and then make new ones. For over 10 years now. And I’ve been meaning to post them here when they’re all shiny and new; before they slowly get dinged up and torn; before they conform to the shape of my ass. But the problem is when I make a new one, I almost always forget to take photos. And when I remember to take photos, I get so picky about the lighting and background and the angles that the photos never get taken.

But in the spirit of getting shit done and moving on, I present to you crappy photos of my previous two paper wallets, taken today, on my desk under the yellow light of my K’nex lamp, with the bare minimum effort put into setting up the shots.

Today we have two paper wallets.

60s Legs Paper Wallet

NOTE: At the time these photos were taken, the wallet’s seen a few months of wear and tear, and is looking a little weathered not unlike an off-the-strip Vegas cocktail waitress (Sorry mom! No offense!), but when it was new it looked fly.

This wallet was made out of two extra-long postcards I found in some gift store. I thought legs would make a great theme. I was wrong. Still I like how it turned out, and it has only offended a few so far.

North Woods Inn Paper Wallet

NOTE: At the time these photos were taken, the wallet was so badly worn that I retired it (and made the Legs wallet above), so it’s looking a bit like the box to a “We swear it works fine” returned digital camera at Fry’s. When it was new, it looked badass.

I love Clearman’s North Woods Inn. A lot. It is so fantastic it deserves it’s own post here. But here’s the Cliff Notes: The North Woods Inn is a themed family restaurant in Southern California that takes it’s cue from the rustic romanticism of the snow dusted Klondike. It’s a big log cabin (and by big I mean freaking huge) with permanent, fiberglass snow on it’s rooftop. The place has not changed since it opened in the 60s … but is has also not fallen into disrepair. It looks pretty much like I imagine it looked like on opening day; preserved in time perhaps better than Disneyland. The food is good, the service is friendly, and the crowd has real appeal — multiple generations of families gathering to celebrate good report cards and new drivers licenses. I ate lunch there on a Sunday and must have heard Happy Birthday (sung to the real tune of Happy Birthday) and Happy Anniversary (also sung to the real tune of Happy Birthday) at least thirty times.

Anyway, at the gift shop I picked up a couple of North Woods Inn pint glasses, and a set of North Woods Inn steak knives, and of course some of these fancy North Woods Inn postcards, which I used to make perhaps my favoriteist wallet of them all: the North Woods Inn Paper Wallet.

I need to make a new one of these soon.

Wait! Here’s some photos I just found when the wallet was pretty new, and I took it back to the motherland to be reunited with cheese toast, their famous “two salads”, and a stein of Molson (okay, okay, it was probably Anchor Steam):

And now for the reverse angle:

I hope to post more, with better pictures, as I make new ones. And there’s a whole story about why I started making them in the first place. Watch this space for more!

Smiles, everyone… smiles!

Hervé Villechaize Memorial Park

Our Hero, Hervé Villechaize

About this time last year, I learned about Portland’s Mill Ends Park, which is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the World’s Smallest Park. Frankly, I think that’s horseshit. Mills End is a massive expanse of an entire two feet in diameter, a pastoral paradise of gargantuan proportions, a wasteful use of Portland’s finite downtown real estate.

The park, it is so wee!

Today’s cosmopolitan lifestyle demands a more aggressive approach to public greenspaces. My contribution: Hervé Villechaize Memorial Park. Hervé Villechaize Memorial Park is situated on a sunny 2″ (inches! eat that, Portland!) diameter patch of land in a back parking lot at the Stanford Linear Accelerator Center in Menlo Park, California. Where Mill Ends Park has leprechauns, Hervé Villechaize Memorial Park has hobos, and occasionally a jug band.

I think Hervé would be proud (even though his park does get run over by a car every now & then).

I guess it was today? Or yesterday? Or was it Saturday? I’m kinda confused. Here’s some St Patricky goodness of many flavors for y’all to enjoy.

Darby O’Gill meets King Brian — it really warms up when Darby plays the Fox Chase at 4:50

Also check out Darby O’Gill’s Wishing Song

Leprechauns Christmas Gold … Not really for St. Patrick’s Day but every holiday needs dome Rankin/bass.

Also, who wouldn’t love the Swedish Chef, Animal, and Beaker singing Danny Boy? [Tip o' the cap goes to Humu!]

Now I’m off for my traditional Irish meal of Irish O’Garlic sausages and a Shamrock Shake …